Everything Ends

I haven’t been updating lately, so I’m sorry about that. I honestly haven’t been writing much lately, I’ve been busy with finals. In fact I’m just about to leave for my final-final.

After 4 years at this school, 6 years of college, and 19 years total counting back to preschool it’s all about to be over. It’s weird, it feels like a normal day, most the people in my school will be back in a few weeks or months. My school’s a little weird, I wonder if I went to a state school it’d be a bigger deal.

I honestly don’t know how to feel. People asked me what I thought of graduating and I always had trouble putting it in words. Now that the time’s here I can’t say I feel like I’m any better able to express my feelings, right now I just have this lump in my stomach. I went out and spent some money on some used DVDs, a CD and a new bag after losing my backpack. Honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing. I only know it’s happening and I’m along for the ride.

That and I’m going to miss this place, miss these people. I feel like crying as I write this, this place has been my home for 4 years and I’m about to leave and go back to a home that doesn’t feel quite like home anymore. For the first time in my life I’m beginning to understand what it’s like to be unable to say where you are beyond where your feet are planted. 

But beyond the melancholy there’s hope. This last month I’ve gotten my ambition back, and if I can stay the course this next year could be my best yet. 

Still, no matter how often it happens I don’t know if I’ll ever get completely used to moving on, and leaving behind everyone I’ve gotten so used to.

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